The Marathon has its Merits

So, this paper is not going well. However, I am determined to turn something in to Professor Peltier tomorrow, no matter what. Having said that, I still bear in mind the personal lesson I had come to learn a couple years ago. I came to believe that, once one has realized that he is not ruled by the limitations of the body and mind, it ironically becomes far more important to respect those limitations from a realist perspective. I apologize to the reader, for I am not always clear with my thoughts. Perhaps a suitable example would be that of the Marathon runner. A person who accomplishes the extraordinary feat of running a marathon also attains a great personal victory. All the hardships and trials of endurance during the training are important of course, but so are the three to five hours of actually running the 26.2 mile-long race. Think of what must be going on in the runner's mind during these times! I believe that to finish a marathon is to gain a disciplined command of one's self. Self doubt, fatigue, pain...these things need enslave the mind no longer. However, I have seen some, including myself, forget their own mortality during their walk in the clouds. For a person I once called a friend, the fall from the heavens was a broken body. After running her marathon, she thought she was invincible. Reality came crashing down, and she learned her lesson, thankfully without any permanent damage. Whatever one's marathon may be, it is important to not get ahead of ourselves. My hypocrisy knows no bounds, for I seemingly still have not learned my own lesson of mortality. Even now, in this moment, I deny my sickness, knowing it will catch up with me soon. Something else that I am determined to do is perform in the jazz ensemble concert on Tuesday. Unless I am coughing up blood in a hospital somewhere I am going to be there. Am I too hard on myself? Too easy on myself? I don't know, but I take strength and solace in what this picture from the happier past reminds me of, which is the genuineness that people are capable of but which we rarely see, the harmonious connection people share with each other and with nature, and being a bad ass. Unending endurance comes from Lisa Frank dotbooks, no lie.

Interesting...

Someone linked me to this post recently. I thought I would share what I think is a very interesting view on some of the problems with the present American family. As a person who grew up without a father, I find myself agreeing with some of the author's points, although as a whole it almost seems *too* impassioned; even to the point of making me uncomfortable.

The Author's personal experiences are definitely reflected through a heavy bias, in my opinion, but that does not diminish the truth of many of her points.

omg mono wtf

I finally scrapped enough money together to hit the snow health center, and found out I have mono. FML. I have excuse letters for all my classes, but that doesn't change the fact that I am going to be behind, and hating my life when finals start a'knockin.

The World is not enough

One thing I absolutely love doing is bitching. It can be bitching about my life, other people, politics or school. Whatever it may be, I feel it is an important part of crapping out pent up inevitable negative emotions. Everyone has their ways. I am going to take this opportunity to say that I have been sick for the past 3 weeks with a sudden extreme downturn this past weekend, and I do not have health insurance, or enough money for a visit to the doctor, (or pay my bills, rent, or tuition for this semester), even at the snow health center, (which sucks, never go there). I have been skipping almost all of my classes every day starting last Friday to just lay in bed and drink gallons of water all day, but if this doesn't break soon I am going to be in a really, really deep hole.

Of course, in reality I put myself in this situation, since I could have applied for medicaid, and actually am working on the application right now, but it is making life suck a lot at the moment. Anger is more useful than despair.

Perception

At what point does it become personally beneficial to adopt a realist attitude, instead of using self deception to overcome personal flaws?

Over it

It is nice having free time. This is an easy semester, and yet an even harder one than the previous ones I have been through. I am only taking 12 credits, yes, but the pressures of graduating and my increasingly bitter and jaded attitude towards people and the institution are starting to interfere with my studies. I just want to get my piece of paper and get out of Eastern Michigan University, so that I can do what I want to do; open the minds of students through teaching music.

Austria

When I was in Austria this past summer with the EMU Choirs, we stayed with a family who owned their own huge hotel/house and brewery. They served us all dinner, which was excellent chili and salad. We only had to pay for the alcohol. I would say 2 euros per tall beer is not bad at all. This beer was the best beer I have ever tasted, and probably ever will taste in life. It had just come from the brewery that day if I am not mistaken. I love beer...

It was a worthwhile experience traveling to Europe and experiencing the history and culture of another society, but I wish it had been under more personal circumstances.

One dimensional

I've been slacking lately. I don't even know what I am supposed to be writing about in this blog, so for now I will just say some things that have been on my mind. (appropriate things)

I'm writing a series of cheesy holiday and pop standard arrangements for saxophone quartet. I am involved with a professional music/service fraternity. My idea is that myself and a few other people will go around campus playing music for people. All around, everyone thinks it is a good idea, now I just have to make it happen.

Some people in the school of music here at EMU are way too wrapped up with the "professional" side of what we do, as if we are somehow superior to the audience because we dress up and play well known literature. I do believe that the way a person performs music is deeply connected to their personality, more than anything else. I also believe that a person cannot become a successful musician without at least the beginnings of a personal philosophy of art. (an excellent class, btw, I took it during my first semester at emu.....4 years ago). There must be a purpose to what you are doing when you play music, just as a person must have some purpose in their life. What my robotic colleagues do not seem to grasp is that that purpose does not always have to be the same. They think that going around campus playing cheesy christmas music and rickrolling people is beneath them. I say that music, as with any art, has a multitude of different purposes. We need not *always* reveal the deepest fathoms of our souls, just as we don't always have to play music that makes people happy.

Music, among other things, is a communication of thought and emotion(not always from the performer; sometimes the composer, or a combination of the composer and performer participate), so, who is to say that my version of "Jingle Bells", and "Never Gonna Give You Up" is less important than Brahms' 4th Symphony? It makes people happy, it annoys people, it entertains, and stimulates thought. It is music.